This isn't me saying nice things about 1 Direction. Nor is it (completely) me bashing 1 Direction. It's about a theory I have.
Ok, before we go any farther, let me say this: I don't like 1 Direction. Their music sucks, and they seem like douchebags. That said, I have an interesting theory about their popularity:
(ahem) IT'S A CONSPIRACY!
Yeah, I said it. And, before you ask, yes, I have worn a tin foil hat. I'm not wearing one now though.
Anyway, how is it a conspiracy? Because I believe this happened:
Some execs thought, "Gee, we need more money. How will we do this?" Some guy probably said, "A boy band!" And the other execs there thought that was a good idea. So, they put together 1 Direction, got a lot of technicians to Autotune them, and sent them to X-Factor. (Fun fact: X-Factor was actually an X-Men comic at one point. The more you know.) Of course, they bribed some of the judges (Simon Cowell), so that 1 Direction would be more popular. Then, they released albums, became more popular, made money, and had 1 Direction merchandise. Which would've been made by a sub-corporation of the original one. In other words, the execs get money.
Crazy? Well, Crazy is my middle name. Seriously. It's Dorkpool Crazy Bigdick. (Ladies, pay attention to that last name. Yeah. That's right.)
Anyway, that's my belief. In fact, I believe most 'musicians' (Autotuned faces) are made that way. At the very least, I'd say Justin Bieber was too.
Too bad they couldn't have made Bieber a dick while they were at it.
-Dorkpool Crazy Bigdick
Ok, before we go any farther, let me say this: I don't like 1 Direction. Their music sucks, and they seem like douchebags. That said, I have an interesting theory about their popularity:
(ahem) IT'S A CONSPIRACY!
Yeah, I said it. And, before you ask, yes, I have worn a tin foil hat. I'm not wearing one now though.
Anyway, how is it a conspiracy? Because I believe this happened:
Some execs thought, "Gee, we need more money. How will we do this?" Some guy probably said, "A boy band!" And the other execs there thought that was a good idea. So, they put together 1 Direction, got a lot of technicians to Autotune them, and sent them to X-Factor. (Fun fact: X-Factor was actually an X-Men comic at one point. The more you know.) Of course, they bribed some of the judges (Simon Cowell), so that 1 Direction would be more popular. Then, they released albums, became more popular, made money, and had 1 Direction merchandise. Which would've been made by a sub-corporation of the original one. In other words, the execs get money.
Crazy? Well, Crazy is my middle name. Seriously. It's Dorkpool Crazy Bigdick. (Ladies, pay attention to that last name. Yeah. That's right.)
Anyway, that's my belief. In fact, I believe most 'musicians' (Autotuned faces) are made that way. At the very least, I'd say Justin Bieber was too.
Too bad they couldn't have made Bieber a dick while they were at it.
-Dorkpool Crazy Bigdick