It all started with Obamacare. Republicans thought it was evil, would destroy the country, and was the worst thing to happen to America. Democrats wondered what Republicans were on. Anyway, due to much argument (Mitch McConnell had to use a respirator twice during the debate on Obamacare) and some stupidity on Ted Cruz's part, the government was shut down. National parks closed, extreme cuts were made to government programs like the FDA and NASA, (but not the NSA, because it doesn't matter whether or not our food is poisoned or an asteroid will destroy the Earth, the government still needs to spy on us) and in general, people were more pissed off at Congress than usual.
But, after two weeks or so, it's back open. And Ted Cruz is saying he won't rule out another government shutdown. Yippee.
To be honest, I think we need to do something to motivate Congress. Or be rid of it. So, here are some ideas I have to motivate them:
1) Until they start working, Justin Bieber's "Baby" will play hourly.
2) Jedi Mind Tricks
3) For every day nothing is done, neuter a member of Congress. Honestly, considering how useless they are, we're doing the world a favor.
4) If the government is shut down again, or Congress doesn't work, they don't get paid.
6) Have Miley Cyrus make a surprise appearance!
7) Let Chris Christie raid the Congressional lunchroom.
If none of these tactics work, then we can send the members of Congress into an island with a volcano that's about to erupt. Then, we get people who aren't total idiots to be the new members of Congress.
Problem solved. You're welcome, America.