Hey everybody, Sotaar here. You guys remember my daughter, Jenney? Of course you do. Well, anyways, she's gone missing. It's been about a day since I've seen her, and I'm really worried. Last time I saw her she was playing in the park at around sundown... I looked away for just a second, and then she was gone. All I heard was a slapping noise...
If you know where she is,more you've seen her, please let me know.
The planets have aligned and Samson has returned from his slumber to take upon our goodie holes..... I saw him in the park where he normally stays around. I saw him and out of fear and need of keeping my goodie hole safe I fled to the woods in which I meet Sotaar and Dorkpool and warn him of his arrival. Out of disgrace of running away in fear of Samson I fell to my knees and poured acid onto my legs so I may never run again. Be weary humans he has come to take any hole he considers a goodie hole. He came. He saw. He conquered. He cam again.
Hey everybody, Sotaar here with a quick announcement. I have a daughter, her name is Jenney. Her mother, Caroline, died some time ago, so I'm a father now. Just thought you'd like to know.
Now, if you're a senior Blahcrapper, you'll know my distaste for Skitzo. Schizophrenia is nothing to joke about, and he's not even subtle about it. Skitzo, skitzophrenia, schizophrenia. See? And Skitzo's a "voice in Dorkpool's head," in case you don't know. Just a Deadpool wanna-be. That's also one of the reasons I left Blahcrap for a time.
You may be asking yourself, "Why does Sotaar have such a beef with this?" Well, schizophrenia isn't a fun thing or funny. And I speak from experience.
I like iFunny. I really do. But it's starting to get ridiculous. What I mean is that people are bitching about iFunny on iFunny by making posts saying that the new update sucks, we wish we could dislike, porn shouldn't be on here, etc. Fine. You don't like that. I get it. But I want to go on iFunny to look at the funny pictures or porn and don't care that you hate this. You got a problem with iFunny? Get off of it. It's free. You're not paying for it. You have no say in the updates and shit. Get that through your heads and stop posting stuff about how much you hate the new update. Please, thank you.
-Dorkpool and Skitzo (PS I'm putting this on iFunny. Sure, it's hypocritical, but hopefully someone will listen.)
So I had to go to the mall to visit my brother Trender Man (he works there as a mannequin and clothing designer) I put on a fake face as I was there and walked around as a "normal" person. So a lady was behind me and I stopped walking and leaned on a wall.... Instead of walking to the side she decided to stop and say, "This little bitch better move." (she wasn't black so she was white trash) I just turned around and starred into her face and she shut up and moved along. I didn't say a word because im not a public person what so ever. Seriously this would be me (a stranger bumps into me) And it would either go Stanger- Oh sorry I didn't mean to run into you. Me- (throws a dollar at them and vanishes without saying a word) or it could go Stranger- You better watch it you fucking punk Me- (throws a dollar at them and vanishes without saying a word)
-Slender Man. P.S. Prepare your goodie holes he is coming
So, Sotaar mentioned an event that's starting next week. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll just say this: prepare your goodie holes, Blahcrap. I know what's going to happen. Skitzo? Yeah. Miss me? What are you doing back here? Being reintroduced to a new generation of the Blahcrap readers. Dude, it's been a few months since you've been gone. There is no new generation. Oh. How was I supposed to know that. Ugh. Anyway everyone, we're having an event starting next week, and Skitzo's back. Goodie. Holes.
That's right, folks. Starting next week, Jan 12, Blahcrap is having a special week dedicated to a very special person... Who is this person? What does this mean for Blahcrap? All these questions will be answered when the week begins. Just you wait.
So school started back today for me.... Well deadpool sums up how I fucking felt today. School is a lot like a gay couple the teachers are dominant and the kids are the ones taking it in the ass. Seriously why do I need to learn the same shit over and over again? If I didn't get it the first time what makes you think I want to try again? I don't care that much about my grades. Jesus I hate being around kids when im killing them but now I have to stay in a school surrounded by them for half a damned day? No I'm Slender Man the most feared being since Satan himself. Okay since I made 1 joke maybe 2 ill make another. A dick has a hard life his hair is a mess his neighbor is an asshole his brothers are nuts and his best friend is a pussy. Well fuck all of you ive got a shitty semester to look forward to. Rot in hell all you stupid kids at my school. - Love from Slendy